Battery Operated Pancreas

Just another day in the life of a diabetic…

Just one of those days…

on February 3, 2012

Ever have one? You know, “just one of those days” I know I have…but this one was different. Today I woke up and for the first time in almost a week, I don’t have a fever or ketones, I was actually feeling OK, physically, anyway. Maybe I was a little burnt out. The ketones were really getting to me. Earlier in the week, I had large ketones and were able to reduce them to negative. But when small ketones showed up the very next day, all I could think was: “Ugh, not again” and so it went for a few days of seeing the spectrum of ketone color rainbow. I went through almost a whole box of individually wrapped Ketostix! (normally it takes me a LOT longer than 4 days) But the ketones are now gone and I’m feeling better. You think I’d be happy, right? But no. I’ve been stuck in a funk for the course of the day. Earlier today was especially bad for me, all I wanted to do was cry. Cry like a baby kind of cry. Which I did, it helped, minimally. All day my eyes have had that “sticky” feeling to them because of it. If you asked me why I feel this way, I couldn’t have told you. Not because I didn’t want to, but because I just didn’t know why. It’s not like things are particularly bad, or something horrible happened. I just felt sad. Now if I thought long and hard about this, I could probably come up with something. My neighbors are moving, and while I wasn’t close with them, hell, if I ran into one of them, I’d barely recognize them, but from my dealings with them, they were really awesomely sweet and nice people. I was worried that I might not catch them in time to say goodbye. Thankfully, I did, which made me feel marginally better. Great neighbors. Quiet. Kind. Respectful. Friendly, without being overbearing. You name it, they had it. Hell, they even made a very generous donation to a diabetes fundraising cause I was doing, which I didn’t even expect them to give. So, yea, I’m sad to see them go…but I think it could be deeper than just them leaving. I feel maybe I’m connecting it to all of the loss I’ve felt in my life (which is a lot) and maybe somehow I’m reliving it. I don’t know. I sometimes wonder if this is d related. Is it? I wonder. I know diabetics are more apt to depression than the average individual, even though I’m a relatively happy kind of person. As the evening wore on, I had a decent dinner, which I haven’t eaten solid food in almost a week…soup can get real old, real quick. And I had a good laugh, so I am starting to *finally* feel a bit better.

But I’m still left wondering: Have any of my d friends (or even non-d friends) felt this way? Just sad, for no real reason.

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One response to “Just one of those days…

  1. Karen G says:

    Ugh, I hate that you had such a bad time lately. I’m glad things are starting to look up. And yes, I’ve totally been there too. Feeling blue and depressed, and not really sure why. I find that makes me dwell on how I have no right to feel that way because I’m blessed and have a lot – which then makes me feel guilty for being depressed, which then makes me even more depressed. Not. Fun.

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