Battery Operated Pancreas

Just another day in the life of a diabetic…

Project 2013



A friend of mine posted this on Facebook, and I thought it was an awesome idea! I liked it so much, that I wanted to share it here. I love this idea because I feel that I hear all too often “This year sucked…can’t wait ’til it’s over…” I’m sure there are so many wonderful and good things that happen to everyone, but are overlooked, forgotten or perhaps overshadowed by something else. Why not take a minute to write down a happy moment and then reflect on all the good things at the end of the year? Sounds good to me! What a cool idea it would be to make this into a yearly tradition! Here’s hoping for many happy moments!



It’s a new year and everyone is busy making (or already made, and probably now breaking) their new year resolutions. What is the point of making a new year’s resolution, really? For change, right? So why must it be done in the new year, I often wonder. Personally, I don’t really like making “New Year Resolutions” at least not in the traditional sense. I feel it’s a set up for failure, generally speaking. Don’t get me wrong, I enjoy looking to the new year with hope, joy and change. But, there is just something about a new year resolution that begs to be broken or forgotten. So, instead, I try to look to each new day as a clean slate to start something new, to make good and accomplish something. Obviously, if there is something that can’t be accomplished in a day, well then long-term goals need to be set. I have lots of ideas and plans that I’d like to accomplish this year. I’m sure some will be accomplished with flying colors, some will be overlooked or done half-assed, and some will not get done at all. I guess the coming year will tell! I do hope to write about some of these things I’d like to accomplish, in future posts, so stay tuned for more! Happy New Year and I wish you all health, happiness, love, peace and joy!


2012 in review

The stats helper monkeys prepared a 2012 annual report for this blog. I’ve been writing this blog for a little under 2 years and I think I’ll make this my traditional New Year post….Hope you enjoy it!

Here’s an excerpt:

The new Boeing 787 Dreamliner can carry about 250 passengers. This blog was viewed about 1,300 times in 2012. If it were a Dreamliner, it would take about 5 trips to carry that many people.

Click here to see the complete report.

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Good-bye 2012…

It’s really hard to believe that 2012 is near it’s end and we are upon a new year! Where did the time go? So much happened in 2012, and yet, not so much! (if that makes any sense?!) A lot of what happened I didn’t get to write about…adopting a new dog, Pepper, Hurricane Sandy, celebrations with friends, etc… I am hoping to be more productive on my blog next year. In the meantime, I just wanted to thank my readers, whoever you may be, I appreciate your support!

Here’s to a Happy and Healthy New Year, 2013! See you all on the flip side 🙂


12.12.12 (Almost) Wordless Wednesday


I couldn’t think of a cooler #bgnow for 12.12.12! I know the post is on the late side, but I wanted to get it in!

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My friend Cara, over at Every Day Every Hour Every Minute posted this on Facebook today, with the caption reading “November is over. The official Diabetes Awareness Month has come to an end. But for those living with diabetes it continues on. We need a cure.”  I have to say, it really made me think. I’ve been diabetic for so long, I’m not sure what it would be like to live without it. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying I am my diabetes or it owns me or anything like that. It’s just that diabetes is such a huge part of my life, such a big part of who I am, and has been for so very long, that I’m not sure how I would go about separating myself from it. (The image that comes to mind is of myself trying to take off a sopping wet neoprene wet-suit, kinda difficult!) I have wondered how long it would take for me to stop checking my pump or CGM or reaching for my meter. How long it would take for me to stop wondering if what I am feeling is due to a bg spike or drop, or bg related at all. All of these things have been so ingrained into me and who I am, I question what life may be like without the constant monitoring, need for control and worry that comes with d. Deep down, I know I would still be the same person, but in a different way. And for me, the thought of a cure is a very powerful good and yet a tiny bit scary thing. I still have hope for a cure. I pray I am able to see it in my lifetime.

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I thought about what I wanted to post as I am awake at this ungodly hour and looking at the date here on WordPress, it kind of hit me. Today is November 28th, not that it means much to many, but this was my dog Max’s birthday. Again, it probably means little to most, but if you know me, Max was my sweet boy, I loved him very dearly, and today would have been his 19th birthday. OK, so let’s be realistic, he most likely would not be alive today, if he didn’t pass before his time. I’d like to share my story about Max…

A few days prior to Max coming into our lives, we were dealing with the impending loss of my first dog, Happy. She was in the hospital for a few days, and after visiting her in the hospital, I went home and cried my eyes out after making the decision to put her to sleep. I knew it was best for her, I just couldn’t stand to see her that way. I decided that after work, we would go down to the hospital say our “goodbyes” and well, you know. That whole day, I had this sinking feeling, I thought it was because I just didn’t want to lose my baby, but she ended up passing on her own that day, before we could say goodbye. Who knows for certain what that feeling was, I just knew my best friend I had, the one who I met just months after being diagnosed, loved and accepted me for who I was, the friend I grew up with, was now gone. I know, now this is supposed to be a happy post about Max, you’re probably thinking to yourself. Be patient, I’m getting to that! The very next day the phone rings and the receptionist from the vet’s office says “Do you believe in miracles?” I thought to myself “Lady, unless my dog has somehow sprung back to life….” Well, she called to tell us that a woman dropped off a 5 month old puppy who was the exact same breed as the dog we just lost. I have to be honest, I wasn’t all that excited, and I surely didn’t think she was calling us to see if we wanted it, but that was exactly it. I had such mixed feelings about the whole thing, I felt it was too early, I felt that I was cheating on my first dog, you name it, the thought ran through my head. But the timing was right, we took him and he was already named Max, and he knew his name well, so we kept it. It didn’t take long for our hearts to love this little guy, although he was a puppy and I totally forgot how much trouble puppies can get into. He was super smart, to boot. The woman who surrendered him had just had a baby and couldn’t deal with the baby and this puppy’s energy. (poor excuse, if you ask me, but I am thankful for her not being capable of the situation, otherwise I would have never had the pleasure of knowing Max) He was AKC Registered, we had record of his mother, father and his date of birth and everything, which I thought was super cool! But Max was more than just a dog, he was part of the family. He saw me through losing many family members, including my dad, and through many happy times, as well. He was my rock, which is kind of ironic, because that’s what caused his demise, a rock. I won’t go into too many details, but apparently, he found a mighty tasty rock and ate it, ultimately it caused kidney damage, we tried a few things, but ultimately had to let him go, so we did what any responsible pet owner would’ve done. Just a few short weeks before his 15th birthday. I had an incredibly hard time dealing with his loss, maybe because I felt I failed him, or maybe it was because I never properly got to mourn my first dog and all the emotions that got bottled up and stored away deep with the love of this new puppy. Who knows? Thinking of him usually brings a smile to my face, in a bitter-sweet sort of way. All my dogs hold a very special place in my heart. Happy Birthday, Max, my sweet boy. ❤

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ACK Monday!

I woke this morning went to pick up my meter off the night stand and realized it wasn’t there! The next half hour was a frantic search! I remember it being there at some point before I went to sleep and couldn’t remember if it was there after. After about an hour of grumpiness and several fleeting thoughts of “And this is why I don’t want an OmniPod!!” I borrowed my boyfriend’s meter (and of course somehow blamed him for its disappearance in the process!) I decided to go back and rip the bed apart. DOH! It was under my pillow. Not the coolest way to start off the week! But I sure am glad I found my meter 😉

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Diabetes Awareness Month

I feel like such a slacker this year. I’ve done diddly to advocate for Diabetes Awareness Month, with the exception of a few posts on Facebook and a loved ones meeting on WDD (World Diabetes Day, November 14th) I feel I’ve done very little.

Last year, I was all into it. I proudly took part in the WDD Post Card Exchange created by my friend Lee Ann Thill of The Butter compartment. I took part in Type 1 day, which is on November 1st, by going to the Today Show and standing in the square in NYC to get the opportunity to shake hands with Ann Curry & Al Roker, and raise awareness of Type 1 diabetes, with JDRF. There were all sorts of things I was involved in last year. I donned blue nails, hair and clothing for Blue Fridays, too! Let’s not forget about the Blue Heel Society! I keep seeing heels that fit the bill and think to myself: “Those would make GREAT shoes for the Blue heel society!”

To the point: I feel like a total slacker this year:( But I guess I can’t beat myself up too much, or feel too bad for myself, either. Like the rest of the east coast, we were affected by Superstorm Sandy. We were without electric, heat and hot water for ten days, yea, that was NO fun. But I can’t complain too much, because I know there were many, many others who lost everything and have to start over from scratch. I find myself between feeling so sad and incredibly lucky (and a bit guilty, too) when hearing about and seeing these people. But I digress, that could be a whole other post. I haven’t done a whole lot this month for Diabetes Awareness Month, but at least I got to attend the ACT 1 Loved Ones meeting on WDD and got to go out to eat afterwards with some pretty awesome peeps (d and non d) and I have a super awesome pic to prove it!

I also got to see the Empire State Building lit in blue for WDD! (WIN!) And my not so awesome pic…

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What a weekend it’s been…

This post was written back on April 30th, about an hour after coming back from the animal hospital after saying goodbye to my friend and companion, Brandy. It was an extremely difficult time for me and I was in a very emotional state. I did however want to post this, but was not ready to share at that point in time. Today marks three months since that day. Time has helped take the edge off a bit, but the emptiness and hole in my heart still remains. I have realized in my life that we do all that we can that is humanly possible to help our fur babies, but in the end when we finally realize there is no more than can be done, we do what is best, no matter how painful that decision may be. I did not edit this post since first writing it because I wanted it to be the real deal. I hope you enjoy the post.

Today we made the decision no pet parent ever wants to be faced with. We had to put Brandy, my 16-year-old miniature poodle to sleep. She had been showing signs of age for a while now, and in recent weeks more so than ever. But the past 3 days were truly heartbreaking. I had to believe it was kidney failure, and as our vet suspected by looking a her and he verbally confirmed it. At this point in the game I just couldn’t see putting her through a battery of invasive tests to tell us the inevitable. It pains me very much to see an animal suffering when there isn’t much (or anything that can be done) but the pain of loss is not lessened by any means. I am at peace with our decision and would like to remember a happier time to share with you:

Brandy’s story.

We received a phone call on May 24th, 1996. It was the woman who worked at the Port Washington Animal Hospital. She had hooked us up with Max, after my first dog, Happy, passed away two years prior. She was calling this time to see if we were interested in another miniature poodle, this time a little girl. We were unsure of owning two dogs at once and expressed our concern. She said “Take her for the weekend and see how it goes, you can always give her back to me if it doesn’t work out.”  Apparently, this tiny straggly dog was found wandering the streets of Brooklyn, NY and somehow ended up at the Port Washington animal hospital. She was a tough mama, though! The woman had taken her home to foster, but this woman owned 3 rottweilers of her own and wanted to find this little sweet puppy a more appropriate playmate, even though the rotties and her got along just fine. We cautiously took the puppy, thinking it wasn’t really going to work out. When we finally got her home, we introduced her to Max. In hindsight  Max chased her everywhere! My dad instantly fell in love with her. She was the calm lap dog that Max was not, and he loved her dearly. One weekend turned into two weekends then three….and sixteen years later that weekend finally came to an end. But I digress, happy memories here. Max and Brandy were pals and were so adorable when they would chase each other around the house and play together. But she wasn’t all about play, like Max was. So they had their “moments” of arguing, if you will. But for the most part, they were the best of friends. Max loved Brandy to bits, any time she left the house without him, for a trip to the vet or a haircut, he would howl like nobody’s business. It was very sweet how protective he was over her. Only two short years after welcoming Brandy into our home, my dad passed away. Brandy seemed a little lost. Where’s the lap I love? She would (well, both my dogs) would run to the door right around 6pm and wait for my dad’s entrance home from work. I don’t remember how long it took them to break out of that habit, but eventually it stopped. That was heartbreaking on so many levels, it wasn’t funny. Mostly, I remember my fur babies being a couple of clowns, they could always cheer me up or make me smile, on even my worst day. It’s amazing and I don’t know how they do it, but they meant the world to me. It’s going to be so hard to break the habit of checking where she sleeps and looking around for her. I am at such a loss right now, I feel like there is a huge void in my life. I have lived with furry friends for more than not of my life. I got my first dog in fall of 1979, only about 6 or 7 months after I was diagnosed with diabetes, so I really don’t know what its like not to have a dog. I feel the right thing to do at this point is to take time to mourn and when we are ready to move on, we will. In the vet’s office I saw a little girl and her mom with what had to be her first puppy. She was probably right around the age I was when I got mine (maybe a year or two older at most) It was a bitter-sweet moment. Happy that she was SO happy and then back to extra sad for my poor dog. I hope that little girl gets all the happiness I have ever known from loving that little puppy and grows up to be a responsible pet owner.

Unfortunately, I never did get to finish writing this blog. I thought I might somehow come back to finish my thoughts, but never did. In the end, I really didn’t want there to be an end. (the most honest thing I can say) I am not “over” my loss, because I’m not sure we ever really get over these things, but rather, get through them. 

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